...

When was the last time you've read anything? Because if you're not willing to read anything, you're not willing to learn anything.

Something I’ve gotten real sick and fucking tired of is people online will beg and plead and bitch for other people to teach people things, but whenever they do actually take the time to help other people out, is to throw vitriol at them.

Now, specifically, when it comes to the "be nice to people who are new to things" remark that pops up from time to time, is that I have never ever ever experienced someone being an asshole just because somebody asked a question. People don't do that. But rather, the opposite is true.

The problem, I think, is that people are not ChatGPT. They're not robots. And what people are generally not fond of is somebody expecting to have all of their problems solved for them.

Humans will want to work with you and not for you. They will expect you to have at least tried some things, and to do some of the problem solving yourself. They will want to help you, to help yourself.

It's generally a good idea to show that you did do a little research into your problem and communicate what you tried, what didn’t work, and if there’s any questions that you might have.

My general way of helping people is to link and share resources, that provides the information they're looking for, but I'll still get lashed the fuck out anyways. Why? Because I expected them to do the work, for them to put in the effort instead of me doing all of their work and all of their thinking for them.

You see this thing? You may be wondering, how do I go about learning something new? And the answer to that is simple, I read the instructions. That’s it. I just read the fucking instructions. There are no secrets and there are no shortcuts, you take this thing, pick it up, play around a bit, don’t be afraid to make mistakes, and read it from front to back.

Oh, I’m sorry, does that sound boring to you? Is that not fun enough for you? Does that sound too much like homework for you? Does that sound too demotivating for you? Does that make it seem like some horrible chore that you just can’t be bothered with?

Well, there’s nothing else I can do for you then. Until you decide to grow up, you can go fuck yourself. Because for much of our history, that's what we did!

Actually, no, it’s my fault, actually, it’s all my fault cooking and sewing and art and music and reading, these are all some horrible chores that you can’t be bothered with, and is best left up to the machines to do all of the fucking work for you. I did this, it’s my fault, and I deserve to be bullied and shamed for it.

Bonus Round: Sheldon Cooper

Let’s just get this out there, but I have a learning disability, a speech impediment, that whole thing. There’s a reason why I don’t have a YouTube channel, can you imagine? Anyways, something that gets under my skin is the misuse and overuse of the term "accessibility" in online discussions.

None of this is to say that accessibility isn't important, it very much is, but I also tend to get annoyed in specific instances, say for example, seeing someone like me get used as a shield in arguments because they're too much of an impatient gibbon for Sonic Crossworlds.

I can only speak for myself, of course, but just because I need extra help sometimes, that doesn't mean I still wasn't able to learn how to wipe my own asshole. If I can do it, you can do it too.

We’ll be talking about “The Big Bang Theory” because while it is uncomfortable to be compared to Sheldon Cooper, as well as there’s this problem with the media in general of turning autism into an infantilized spectacle, this is also one of the few examples most people can actually recognize, so, yeah, I guess I’ll just have to live with it.

Alright, so, in Season 10, there’s a situation in which Sheldon makes Amy upset by discussing private matters with other people, in response to this, Sheldon brings a chart to Amy to map out which topics of conversation are appropriate to discuss with certain people that he calls his “zones of privacy”.

It makes it very clear the rules of social etiquette are something he struggles with, but not out of malice, what is and isn’t appropriate to discuss with whom is one of those things we’re all expected to pick up on our own, intuitively. In fact, almost every rule of social interaction is something we’re all expected to learn on our own, intuitively, nobody tells us what those rules are until we break them. But often with people with autism, that just doesn’t work.

It’s a common misconception that people with autism struggle with social development, when in actuality, it is possible to grasp the nuances of social interaction perfectly fine, provided that it is taught to them. But we often don’t do that, we just expect children to teach themselves on the playground.

This scene with Sheldon’s “zones of privacy” shows us that he knows where the root of his problems are and counteracts it by turning “intuitive” information into “data” he can analyze. This isn’t just an important scene for people with autism, but it’s also an important lesson for neurotypical people that despite what you’ve probably heard, this sort of thing can totally can be taught to someone with autism, just not in the same way as a neurotypical person.

There’s complaints that Sheldon’s exaggerated presentation perpetuates negative stereotypes, but at the same time, he can serve as an easy way to demonstrate these things to people, so, I don’t know, it is what it is. And this is helped by the fact that an important factor for why what makes Sheldon so useful is because... people like Sheldon. They genuinely and unironically like him.

The reason for that, I think, is because Sheldon experiences breakthroughs in personal and social growth. People want to see him overcome his obstacles, they want to see him learn the skills he struggles with, and when he succeeds, it’s a wonderful and applause-worthy moment.

It’s simple. Sheldon is likeable because he has to learn from the mistakes he makes, he screws things up and has to fix them. He grows as a person and steadily becomes more well-adjusted.

This sort of thing in real life relies on two factors, one is the willingness of the support system around you to properly educate you, and two, is whether or not you can actually be bothered to get off your fucking ass. And the willingness of yourself to put in the effort to learn is the problem here.

Every now and then you’ll come across another person, and this can be neurotypical or neurodivergent, who doesn’t want to put in the fucking effort to learn anything, who outsources their responsibility, and whom just wants to give up and expects everybody else to bend around them.

This is decidedly not a symptom of autism, this is just a lazy, unmotivated, immature little brat. And it's a small, but loud minority of people.

It’s useful for a character like Sheldon because he implicitly tells people that coping and becoming well-adjusted is relatively straightforward provided you can be bothered to put in the effort. You can deal with this stuff, you can learn the things you struggle with, and some people just don’t like hearing that.

They don’t like hearing they’ve got stuff to work on, they don’t like hearing it’s their responsibility. Sheldon’s friends hold him accountable for his actions and place the responsibility on him to improve, but they don’t want to see that.

Misery is comfortable, it’s why so many people prefer it. Happiness takes effort. It’s the only way you can build self-confidence. But when offered two paths towards self-improvement, both of which are difficult, a lot of people would rather they just do nothing - they'll just say it's all your fault.